My life has not been an easy one, but the LORD YAHUSHUA gave me a word and HE said, "Be not ashamed of your past but use it for YAHUSHUA'S glory to be a witness for HIM, bringing souls to YAHUSHUA." I have never known a mother's or father's love, or that of a sister or brother, aunt or uncle, cousin, or grandma, and grandpa.
I have suffered much loneliness in my life, but I knew there was a GOD and YAHUSHUA...that HE was someone that died 2,000 years ago at Calvary. No one ever told me HE could be my best friend and HIS HOLY SPIRIT would live in me or that I didn't have to be perfect for YAHUSHUA to love me. I was judged because I was a nobody in this world, no family, and a mother that was sent to jail for child abuse and child neglect and attempted murder on me.
I was thrown from one foster home to another, afraid to disobey, and trying to be everything everyone wanted me to be, but always feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. As soon as the newness wore off at the foster homes, I was discarded like the garbage on Friday, picked up by a social case worker. My mom always said I was not worthy of anyone to love me or care.
I was the rotten apple that spoiled the rest. I was sexually abused, molested, raped as a child by my mother's ex-husbands, boyfriends, step-brothers, and of course, by her. She hated me and never so much as put her arms around me that I can remember. I learned very young not to trust anyone. I learned very young that I hated myself and life. I attempted suicide many times while still a young child, walking in front of moving cars, overdosing pills at the age of 8.
Much damage had been done to me, so at the age of 10, my mother's boyfriend had a nephew and introduced my ex-husband, who was very controlling, cold, distant and much older than me. My mother wanted to get rid of me; I was a constant reminder she was getting older as I got older.
I was taken from her and became a ward of the court and because they didn't know what else to do with me, I married at a very young age. My ex-husband became my father, and because of the age difference, he totally dominated me in every way, yet I was a possession not knowing love, only abuse in a worse form, both mentally and physically, sexually.
I won't go into details but the first week we were married, I attempted suicide because he committed adultery. After that (between miscarriages, suicide attempts, and breakdowns), that was my life for 6 years till I found YAHUSHUA.... or I should say YAHUSHUA found me.
The last suicide attempt, I had taken a bottle of Seconal (100mgs) after my ex-husband had cheated on me once again and said he wasn't coming back. I came the closest I ever came to dying... even had an out of body experience. I won't go into that but I will say I prayed while I lay dying and said quote, “YAHUSHUA, just tell me why YOU didn't love me before YOU throw me into Hell?
Please just send someone to hold my hand while I am dying." I will never forget that prayer cause I lay there from noon till midnight, three days from my birthday, between consciousness and unconsciousness, only reviving long enough to vomit, and lay in my vomit as I passed out again.
How anyone found me NO ONE understands to this day! It was a miracle but the police broke down the door, and YAHUSHUA was there all along answering my prayer, holding my hand though I did not know it. I was put in intensive care and 72 hour round the clock watch, but no one was there to watch me, except nurses.
No visitors; even my ex-husband was angry and refused to visit me, saying he had to work to pay the hospital bill I caused. I didn't leave a suicide note, so my ex-husband forced the hospital to release me to his custody. I was still underage. When I came home, it was on my birthday April 4, the day I should have been buried. It was Easter time also.
I was so heartbroken; no one cared it was my birthday. I tried to take my life the day I was released from hospital but my ex-husband took the gun away. I had an ER doctor who told me the next time I wanted to kill myself, do it right and walk in front of a train where no one will be able to pick up the pieces. I am convinced that satan sent that doctor to me. One year later, I remembered that doctor's words and that's what I intended to do since we lived out in the country by the railroad tracks. But instead YAHUSHUA had other plans.
A friend of my ex-husband (a lady he knew and grew up with, and later committed adultery with while she pretended to lead him to the LORD) called me on the phone the night I planned on killing myself and invited me to my first Pentecostal church. I went to say goodbye to GOD, figuring maybe HE would be there. Instead, the preacher gave a word of knowledge and talked about someone who planned on killing them self and telling that person, "YAHUSHUA said don't do it!", HE loved that person, and wanted to use them for HIS glory.
He asked who that person was and to come forward and give their life to YAHUSHUA. I DID! Then he asked who didn't have the baptism of the HOLY GHOST with evidence of speaking in tongues to raise their hand. I raised my hand and said "I don't know what it is but if it's from YAHUSHUA, I want it!" Boy, did I get it! YAHUSHUA showed me a light in my eyes and said I could never hate myself again cause if I did, since HIS SPIRIT was in me, I would be hating HIM also.
For the first time in my life, I thought I was pretty. Never again were there suicide attempts, I had a purpose and that was to Love people, in a way I never knew, and make sure people know how much YAHUSHUA loves them, and how to give their lives to YAHUSHUA and get saved, sanctified, filled with the HOLY GHOST.
That was nearly 30 years ago, and the fire in my bones just got hotter, my zeal for my LORD YAHUSHUA knows no limits. I love YAHUSHUA and HE is my ONE and ONLY TRUE LOVE ABOVE ALL ELSE. My main desire is to serve HIM all the days of my life...to help people any way I can, in ways no one ever helped me.
To be there and comfort the broken abused body of YAHUSHUA and let them know it's the devil that is beating up on them, NOT YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH. Many times GOD has used me to stop men and women from killing themselves, as I share my testimony. They end up getting saved, and even my suicide attempts (before I knew YAHUSHUA) served a purpose.
I am called to minister the gospel of YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH with the anointing power of the HOLY GHOST. My goal is to see millions saved, sanctified, and filled with HOLY GHOST manifested power. I strive to obey YAHUSHUA and put HIM first in my life in every way.
I love and worship HIM and keep HIM first in my private life, and ministry, doing all I can to reach the abused, beaten, feeling forsaken, and unloved, rejected, body of YAHUSHUA... to prove YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH really does love them, and died and arose on the third day and HE would have done the same thing if it had only been ONE person who accepted HIM. I want them to know the Word of YAHUVEH can't lie, and teach them, and pray with them, and most of all, love them.
I have tried hard to always hear the Sweet HOLY SPIRIT'S voice and feel privileged when SHE uses this broken vessel of clay to bring the lost to YAHUSHUA, and bind up their wounds, proving to them YAHUSHUA is alive and still Reigns, and HE Loves Us, and cares about anything we care about.
I want to be used to bring YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH praise, honor, and glory as we see souls saved, delivered, healed, through the NAME, Word, and BLOOD of YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH, proving GOD really can do all things through YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH that strengthens me. When I minister I expect miracles, and get them for YAHUSHUA'S glory. My life has changed much in these nearly 30 years but the calling has not.
Perhaps if my life had not been what it has been, I would not have the compassion I have when I minister and there are few shoes that I have NOT walked in so I can identify with their pain. YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH is my LORD and SAVIOR and I want to teach others what GOD has taught me, so they can teach others the awesome wonder of the GOD we serve.
The calling GOD has placed on my life is that of evangelist, which I have been for many, many years, making my life worth something of value, using it to bring the lost to YAHUSHUA. For many years, I have been a lay pastor where the LORD has used me to minister. Now international minister and ordained pastor, office of prophet and bride of YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH.
A fisher of men and women, and teach the word, and counsel using the gifts of the HOLY SPIRIT. I have also been blessed with prophetic gifts. And signs, wonders and miracles have followed this ministry for YAHUSHUA'S glory, cause I am nothing without YAHUSHUA. It's HIS HOLY SPIRIT'S anointing that breaks the shackles, yokes, and bondage's off HIS people.
I am a woman and I have been judged for my blonde hair, makeup, slacks... outward appearance.
Some ministers have even said I wasn't allowed to minister in their churches till I had no makeup on! I am grateful the LORD showed me it's not the cleanliness of a woman's skin (whether she has makeup and mascara on), but the cleanliness of her HEART! My heart was cleansed nearly 30 years ago and still is cleansed with the Cleansing Blood of YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH.
I have found the worst abuse and lack of love comes from behind the pulpits, jealous for the strong anointing, and gifts....covetousness; and many pastors don't believe GOD speaks out of women prophets or in a woman ministering, especially as a pastor.
But I continue to do what I have been called to do, and HE continues to use me for YAHUSHUA'S glory. I am sent to the people and NOT to the Pastors. The people always receive me in love and I try not to be hurt and forgive the pastors who have treated me so terribly.
I will let GOD be their judge and let them learn from their mistakes. Instead, I refuse to judge people by their outward appearances, color of skin, for black pastors have resented me cause I am so white. I think it's GOD'S sense of humor, making me what satan fears the most... a HOLY SPIRIT filled Pastor! Also a gospel songwriter and singer.
satan tried so hard to destroy me, but this only produced crushing of the grapes which brought forth NEW WINE in the form of delivering, anointed songs. See? All things do truly work together for good to those who love GOD, and are called according to HIS PURPOSE. YAHUSHUA knew in the end HE would win, thereby proving I am more then a conqueror through YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH my LORD!
I believe the only purpose in my life was to be what I am now. An anointed servant, disciple, and child of the KING of Kings and LORD of Lords! YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH. Is there any higher calling than this? I think NOT!
A broken vessel of clay but a mighty warrior for YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH, I am called to preach the Gospel to the four corners of the earth; to all races, kindred, and tongues. God has shown me the color of the skin is not important when I see people I only see if they are RED, covered in the shed Blood of YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH! OUR YAHUSHUA MESSIAH! I have been chosen to be pastor over many churches.
Please pray for me that I will always hear the voice of our LORD and SAVIOR YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH and do HIS perfect will, accomplishing what HE created me for. I was told I can never lay down this ministry for it is my identity, who I am is a broken vessel of GOD YAHUVEH but a mighty warrior for YAHUSHUA Ha MASHIACH (YAHUSHUA MESSIAH) Apostle Elisheva Sherrie Elijah (Eliyahu).